


Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone

by pastelpeachtea



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Based on the headlines saying James is leaving ):, Cristiano is there for him tho, Fluff, M/M, hinted crushes, james is sensitive, maybe some smut, sorta coming out, there goes my heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelpeachtea/pseuds/pastelpeachtea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James is scared about whether it's true or not that he's leaving Real Madrid. Before he leaves he wants to get rid of everything off his chest</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly James is my little baby and I cried when I heard he was leaving. My first fandom every was James Rodriguez/Cristiano Ronaldo so why not do something for the ship before I cry more tears lmfao  
> Also Marcelo sounds too Colombian for a Brazilian but oops that's what you get when you have a story written by a Colombian (me)

"Malparido."

  
James whispered as he harshly kicked the ball in the net. This was his relaxation tactic he used when he was stressed. Now that he heard the rumours of him being transferred out of Real Madrid, this was becoming frequent.

  
"Caré chimba me quiere quitar." He mumbled as he went to retrieve the ball again. He was alone in the large stadium at night as his teammates were in the hotel, preparing for their game next week. He felt powerful- as if he owned the whole stadium. Being alone made him feel like he was out in Outer Space, like he could scream and break out in to tears and no one can hear him.

  
He sniffled as he places the soccer ball into place, kicking and missing. He curses quietly as he slumps to ground, already feeling tired. He laid down, staring up into the stadium's open ceiling. The Stars were beautiful, the moon outshining all of them. He blinked as his vision got blurry from the tears forming.

  
'Real Madrid star could be leaving this summer!'

  
'Real Madrid no longer wants the younger soccer star'

'Copa America weighs Rodriguez's reputation on Real'  
The subtitles spin around in his head. Were these really true? He frowns as clouds starts to form, covering the stars. He sighs as he closes his eyes, remembering all the memories with Real. The game against Granada, where he scored a goal. He smiled at the thought of the fans cheering him on.

  
No long after, his watch beeps, indicating it was 10:00. He didn't want to go back quite yet. He sat up, and rubbed his eyes. Although there were still problems on his shoulders, he felt less sick to his stomach. It was relieving- the stress was never good for a soccer player. He takes his phone out his bookbag and calls Marcelo.

In three rings, he picks up.

  
"Parcero! Qué mas! Donde 'stas?"

He asked in a happy tone. He can hear Sergio faintly say "hola!" In the background.  
"Eh... I'm here in the stadium. I'll be there in a few." He says, almost whisper level. Even though Marcelo was his best friend, he can't help himself feel nervous talking to other people.

  
"Ah... apurate, pues! We miss you!"

  
"alright! I'll be there in maybe, 5 minutes."

  
They said their goodbyes and the call ended.

  
As James stood up, he couldn't help but have a warm feeling in his stomach. When Marcelo said that they missed him, did that mean Cristiano missed him as well? They were friends and all, but they never really interacted outside the games and locker room. Sure, maybe a couple times Salomé and Junior had played together, but that was rare. He sighed and put on his bookbag, walking out to the darkness of Madrid. Walking back to the hotel, all he thought about was Cristiano, and if he would miss him if he left the club.


	2. Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa sorry for not updating in a while. I have summer homework :(

The walk back to the hotel did not help James clear his mind. In fact, it added to the mess of his mind. The silence of the night, with crickets chirping annoyingly, had took a toll on him. He needed to be filled with noise. He gripped his hair with one of his hands- in which they were freezing.

 

He thought about the yelling and the celebration Real Madrid had when they won a game. The thought of it made him smile, but not for so long. He soon will not be able to take part in those memories. The smile faded as he tightened the grip on his hair. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep him from yelling out in anger- or was it sadness. Both emotions weighed equally in his chest.

 

He didn't realise he was at the hotel already once he heard his name being called. It was the doorman.  
"James Rodriguez? Do you need me to take your bag for you?" The man stood tall and spoke politely.  
He glanced at the bookbag slung on his shoulder before glancing back at the man.

 

"Sure." He said quietly and shimmied it off his shoulder, giving it to him, before opening the glass doors to the building. He called Marcelo as he reached his room to put on more comfortable clothing, a black long sleeve shirt and some gray sweatpants.

 

The phone rang twice before he heard the man.

"Where is everyone? Did I come so late that everyone is sleeping?" He let out a playful whine and chuckled.

"Cristiano, Gareth and I are playing Fifa and if you wanna, you can join." His eyes widened at cristianos name. What if he was bothered by his presence? He was sure that Marcelo and Bale were already an earful, so why join? He stood silent for a moment before answering.

"Which room?"

"41."

* * *

 

James held his breath before knocking, making sure the number said 41. After all, he wasn't clear in the head. He hoped that playing with his friends held off his anxiousness for a while, but he was sure, now that he was with Cristiano, his anxiety won't go away.

He knocked specifically 3 times, he didn't know the reason as to why he counted. This anxiety has really taken its toll. He looked at the Nike symbol of his sandals before the door had open. He glanced up and was immediately greeted with dark eyes and tan skin.

"Oi, James." Cristiano breathed out, opening the door a little wider for him to step in.

James stood there, doe eyed, as he gazed up at him. Every time he looked at Cris, his features would leave him out of breath, sometimes literally. He coughed and stepped inside, whispering "hola" back.

He was greeted by Marcelo and Bale, who were beyond focused on their game of Fifa 15. He sighed and shook off his Nike sandals, leaving them near the door. Since the other two were busy competing against each other to actually start a conversation with James, he turned around to start a conversation with Cristiano. He bit the bullet and erased his fears of rejection.

"Hope I'm not a bother?"

"Why would you think that," Cristiano half smiled, sitting down on the foot of the bed. "it was getting boring anyways, these two stupid heads don't wanna talk to me." He glanced over at them, and was sure that they weren't listening.

James smiled shyly and sat down next to him, making sure there was distance between them.

"I was at the stadium and I came so suddenly, so my first thought was that I was a bother." He chuckled a bit, making sure his feelings were concealed.

It wasn't that he was lonely. He had his millions of fans, plus he had great friendships with a bunch of teams. He has his daughter Salomé and his ex-wife Daniela, who he was still close friends with. It was the depression getting to his head, and everything around him seemed to disconnect with him.

Cristiano let out an "Ah" sound and scooted closer, starting another conversation topic.

"Are you okay?" He asked, sliding his hand on James' knee. He wasn't looking into his eye, but their environment seemed intense.

He let the silence linger as he thought of an answer.

"Of course? Why ask that?" His answer seemed unsure. Fuck.

"You were at the stadium at 10 pm?" He had whispered, looking at him in the eye. James glanced into the dark brown eyes, too afraid to answer his wonders. He wanted to break in, so desperately. He wanted to have someone to talk to, that could relate.

He took it to heart once he realised that this is what friends do, that this moment was not one that Cristiano and James shared their feelings of love to each other. This is was regular friends do. Comfort eachother.

"I need to clear things from my mind." He said quietly. And to be fair, that is what he needed to do. But just not in the right context.

Cristiano sighed and glanced over at the other two men in the room to make sure they were still focused on the game. He gently grabbed hold of James' cheek and looked at him in the eye, making sure his expression was serious.

"I care about you. Please. Talk to me. I will drop everything I'm doing just to make sure you're alright. I care. We all care. Just please, don't hide everything. You're going to end up hurting yourself."

With his other hand, Cristiano held James' hand, and brought it to his lips to lightly peck his knuckles.

James looked down at his lap and grimaced before lookin back at Cristiano.

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Cristiano took the first step ;) well sorta. Remember, I always appreciate the little things. Like kudos :))


	3. steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this chapter whilst watching Colombia vs. Argentina !!!

James let out a shaky breath as Cristiano let go of his hand and cheek, placing both his hands on his lap. He glanced at him as he saw the tanned body stretch on the bed, tank top moving up as he lays down. The screams and cursing flows quietly in the back round, Marcelo and Bale were still at it.

He shuts his eyes as he lays down with Cristiano, turning his head to look at him. His eyes wandered all about. To his nice hairline to his eyebrows. From his perfect cheekbones to the birthmark next to his nose. He never really took the time to memorise Cris' face, his thoughts at night having a slightly blurry view.

He notices Cristiano is staring at him too, smiling so faintly it made him think if he was actually doing it at all.

"You have adorable freckles."

A faint blush starts to fade into James' cheeks and ears.

"You have...beautiful eyes," he looked into them, smiling. "Really beautiful."

It was Cristianos turn to smile.

"I'm too old to be given compliments."

If James were to be honest, he would say he was surprised. Cristiano never sugar coated things, he knew that. He would also be very confident in the way he plays and the way he looks. It was truly astonishing to listen to him deny his compliment.

James hesitated before placing his hand on cristianos forearm and draw faint circles on it.

"You're not too old, you're very young." He says in his ear. They were at whisper level, like as if they were in their own little world. He glances back over cristianos chest, seeing that the two other men were staring at them, smiling widely with their phones out. He jumped out of his lying position, immediately standing on the floor.

Marcelo was giggling excessively whilst Bale was covering his mouth with his hand.

Cristiano soon sat up in the bed, blushing harshly but had his defence ready.

"What are you guys doing?"

"I thought this was my room? I have the right to walk around." He smirked, plopping his phone on the couch.  
James was standing next to the bed, staring down to the plush carpet beneath his feet.

Were they going to blackmail them? What if marcelos video get leaked out? The media would go on a frenzy if they saw the two soccer stars cuddles together. The blush around his neck reddened as he glances quickly at Cristiano, who was also red.

"Doesn't mean you can look into our personal space."

"You make no sense."

"You're a dick."

"You two are five year olds-" Gareth interrupts, grinning at James.

"So you've been dating behind our backs?"

"No,no,no- we're not a thing-" James quickly jumps in, afraid of making Cristiano think weirdly of him if he doesn't object.

"Oh, really?" Marcelo questions his statement as he raises an eyebrow. If possible, James got redder and he looked back down, starting to shake. His anxiety is going through the roof. He starts to tear up a little. It makes him feel like a little kid but he was overly sensitive, he couldn't help it. He whimpers a little bit as he slides down the wall and sits in the floor, biting his lip to the point where blood shows. Both men, including Cristiano run up to him, Cristiano being the one to slide his arm around his waist and draws his other hand to hold James'. He growls when Marcelo tries to hug him as he drops to his knees.

"Filho da puta! You know how he is!" Cristiano says, his voice dangerously close to being murderous. Both Marcelo and Bale back off, understanding.

"We'll uh, be on the couch.." Bale whispers, dragging Marcelo by the shirt, leaving the two alone.

Cristiano sighs into James' hair and kisses the top of his hand, lacing their fingers together when James doesn't stop shaking. He's in the verge of being in a panic attack, but Cristiano is helping a lot. Warmth is enough to calm him down.

Twenty minutes has passed and Cristiano shows no sign of annoyment when James doesn't stop whimpering. He continues to hold him close whilst James puts his head on cristianos chest, inhaling his scent. It smells like strong men's cologne and vanilla. He smiles into the shirt and stops his shaking, glancing up at Cristiano.

He bits his lips in anticipation as he pulls Cristiano by the shirt and kisses him. His lips are chapped but Cristiano doesn't respond negatively, and seemly joins in, holding the nape of James neck, kissing steadily and sweet. Everything felt _right_ and he didn't want the kiss to end. He shuts his eyes harshly and pulls back, not being able to look at Cristiano. 

Cristiano holds James' jaw to make him look at him and smiles down at him.

"I'm always here James. I'm your-  _whatever_ you want me to be." He pecks his forehead and strokes his jawline with his thumb.

James presses his head against his neck and places a kiss right above cristianos Adam's apple.

" _please show me you care..."_


	4. Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute fluff in general

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this after I watched Real Madrid play against Bayern Munich. Sorry fr not updating in a while, I'm going through some stuff. Enjoy ;D

James let out a shaky breath as he let go of Cristiano's shirt, standing up slowly. He looked at the cable box, grimacing when it said 11:14.

"I have to go." he clenched his teeth as he looked down at his socks, mouth going to dry. He had spent this past hour with Cristiano, and he was already craving more of his touch. He didn't want to go back to his hotel room, in fear that their moment together will be forgotten.

He went to go retrieve his sandals, not waiting for a response. He felt a hand clench his shoulder, sliding down to his forearm to pull. He ended back in Cristiano's hold, freezing quickly.

"are you sure you want to go back? I need to make sure you're okay." He muttered into his ear, his hot breath tickling him. His lips were getting dry from sucking at them. The hand on his shoulder felt heavy, and he was getting lightheaded from all the attention. He paused before gazing up at him, his eyes narrowed as he his head tilted. He opened his mouth but no words came out. His mind was blank, like a new white sheet of paper. 

_how the hell did Cristiano manage to do that?_

"I have to pick up Salome tomorrow." God, he hated hearing himself talk. The room was silent, besides the sounds of the game in the background. His raspy voice felt out of place. He looked everywhere except at Cristiano's eyes, ready to go. 

There was a moment of silence before Cristiano took a breath.

"Let me come with." 

His eyes widened. Surely Cristiano hadn't have meant it. He  _knew_ every hotel room had a single full sized bed. He looked into his dark eyes, gulping before speaking.

"Okay."

 

* * *

 

They went down a flight of stairs before reaching James' door. He opened the door, cringing at the squeak the hinges gave when he pushed the door inward. He awkwardly sat down at the edge of the bed before kicking off his sandals and socks, staring at Cristiano and his movements.

His breath hitched when he sat next to him, their thighs brushing against each other. On instinct, James shuffled away a bit. Cris frowned and kept his hands at his lap.

This was a few seconds of silence before he heard his voice.

"If you want, I can leave you alone."

"No, stay." James winced at how quickly he responded. He let out a shaky breathe as he slowly later his head down on shoulder. There's was no turning back now.

"Sorry if I seem like a mess, I just - I just don't know what to do. About Real Madrid. About life," he gulped again, soon realising his mouth went dry. He felt like he said too much.

"I feel like I'm only living for Salomé." He made a fist, moving his head so that he was pressing his forehead on Cris' shoulder. He shut his eyes before sighing.

"I've felt the same," Cristiano snaked his arm around James' waist, clenching his hip gently. "Junior is the only thing that keeps me going - I'm 31 for Christ's sake-" He sounded amused. "That's close to retiring age!"

James couldn't help the little chuckle that traveled to his throat. "That's crazy, Iker is 35 and still playing, what makes you think that you'll have to retire soon?" He looked at him with big chocolate brown eyes, full of playfulness and something else Cristiano couldn't make out.

He couldn't help pecking James' lips. It was a heat of the moment thing. His lips pink and inviting, slightly chapped but perfect. Like two puzzle pieces connecting. Cris pulled back, staring into James' eyes.

He flared up, staring back. "I - I," he stuttered, still replaying the moment in his head. He smiled lightly. "Thank you." He didn't know what else to say. He looked down at his hands, unable to see Cristiano's reaction.

He lightly gripped James chin and made him look up at him.

"Amo te com todo meu coração." He spoke too quickly for James to understand, but he knew he was speaking Portuguese.

His stare grew more intense as he cupped his cheek , the other hand holding James' thigh - now that he was turned around.

"I want you to be happy. I'm here when you're not. I," he looked down.

"I want to be your boyfriend."

 

James' eyes widened at the words. His muscles tensed as he bit his lip, looking away from Cristiano. It was excruciatingly quiet before his raspy voice cut in.

"Si. _Claro que si!_ " He claimed, looking at Cristiano in the eye. The dark pools of brown were as light as ever, full of hope and love and - _lust._

He pounced on James, kissing his lips. He pushed him on the bed as he pulled on his lips. James let out a surprised moan and shut his eyes, opening his mouth so that Cris' probing tongue can enter. He kissed his neck, sucking light pink love marks right above his collarbone, pulling up the hem of his shirt.

James pulled from the kiss, flushing more red than he already was.

"I'm - im uh - not ready.." He muttered out looking up at cristianos eyes, gripping the back of his neck tightly.

"It's okay meu amor, what ever you need." He pecked his lips, brushing his tongue against them once again. He giggled into the kiss and opened his mouth again, wrapping his legs around cristianos waist and kissing back. They stayed like that for a few minutes, pulling back every few moments to catch their breath.

 

James looked at the clock above the hotel bed and groaned, noticing it was already 11:46.

"Cariño, get off. We need to sleep." James patted his head trying to sit up. Cristiano moaned into his neck, not getting off his body.

"I'm having too much fun with you."

"I - we have to pick up Salomé, remember?" He sighed, pulling Cris' head off him. Cris pouted before taking off his shirt, getting off his bed.

"Did you bring an extra toothbrush with you?" He looked at him and then his bag, stretching a bit.

"Uh, open the left pocket and then take out the green one." James said, closing his eyes as he stretched, arching his back on the bed and yawning. Cristiano nodded and opened his bag and went off into the bathroom.

James yawned again and cuddled into the sheets, falling asleep quickly. Sleeping quickly was one of his special talents, especially in times where he wanted to get away from the world.

 Once Cristiano came back, he admired James sleeping figure on the bed, surrounded by the white silk hotel bed sheet. He smiled to himself and sneaked under the sheets, wrapping an arm around James. He kissed his forehead before getting himself comfortable.

"Sleep well, my love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess being surrounded by Portuguese really does help.  
> Also, I didn't edit this at all, so please excuse any mistakes made.


	6. whoops, not a chapter

I FORGOT TO UPDATE THIS. I'm really dry on ideas, and to be completely fair, this story was just an experiment. Plus, school's coming soon, so i wont be updating this any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is https://www.tumblr.com/blog/papaneymar so if you wanna follow, there it is.


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